The Geek's Guide to Dating Should Be Required Reading For All of(exhibit a: myself, she wasn't no geek and while i am partial to the geek label, don't strictly identify). when you combine this feeling of someone denying everything that you are with the social ostracism and humiliation that geeks have often experienced, it’s small wonder that geeks can turn this fear of rejection into a full-blown phobia. don't really know what prompted this article but my only beef with the article is the last paragraph of the first page, (really just rubbed me the wrong way, how, even when he was stepping out of character, he continued with the subtle biasedness) specifically:"one of the most common stereotypes of the modern geek is someone whose social skills are next to non-existant; they can’t maintain a conversation about topics that aren’t science fiction, space opera, urban fantasy, video games, computers or comic books. of the most common stereotypes of the modern geek is someone whose social skills are next to non-existant; they can’t maintain a conversation about topics that aren’t science fiction, space opera, urban fantasy, video games, computers or comic books. don't think i've ever met a geek, male or female, who didn't identify that way for selfish reasons. geek girl that you’ve been talking about, the one you tell your friends is all you want, the one you insist that is the only one you’ll date… she’s not a person to you.'m a girl and i'm a geek and i feel like i've lost relationships because i couldn't measure up to that "ideal". nor is setting up an unrelistic fantasy to avoid trying to meet women unique to geeks. not to insult your "geekhood" my dear but first of all, i know plenty of so called "geeks" that would tell you to stick to watching football because ypu are hopeless as a nerd. if geek guys are determined to only date other geeks, this causes issues, since the female geek dating pool is relatively small. i am saying that you need to go into your relationship with your eyes open to reality, and to embrace that flawed, imperfect, all-too-human geeky girl for exactly who and what she is and not a fantasy that she could never achieve. solution: date a non-geek girl and convert her to geekdom! title: “don’t date geek girls” ending sentence: ” let me be perfectly clear: i am not telling you to never date girls who are geeks. the downside to having a geek girl smarter than you is she has figured out your weaknesses and can make you cry.'s a very valuable post on a topic that isn't often written about, and it is a pity that people do misunderstand the message for that reason (especially the geek girls as it really is all about supporting them for who they truly are as humans, not as some fantasy).), so i'm guessing they simply misunderstood the article and interpreted it as "girls who like geeky things don't exist, give up guys! to deconstruct a myth of who we perceived to be in the community helps to show that we as female geeks are just like anyone else: with flaws, scars, bruises, and any other "damage" we may have received previously and still hang on to. tech gadget, an operating system, comic book superheroes, a sci-fi fantasy realm, a gaming portal, you name it, geeks eat, sleep and breathed it. so i'd temper this article with that knowledge that there are real geek girls out there. in that sense, dating a geek makes you a more courageous person. it isn't saying geeky women don't deserve to find relationships (i disagree everyone deserves a match, but many geeky women are good partners). no one claims that calling oneself a make nerd "denies their humanity" they exist in greater numbers than female nerds or geeks. yes…because of us our son is a geek, but he is a happy geek. , im not a geek or a gamer `i was a mid-class student and i never fall for ''normal'' girls. dating a geek girl would mean that you wouldn’t have to stress out over those awkward moments where you try to find common ground. i didn't see any conclusion in there about why i shouldn't date geek girls – guys idolize them unrealistically…thus we shouldn't date them? geeks foster and maintain the idea that nerds as a collective whole are better, more moral, more open minded and more socially accepting people. i really feel i am that oddity in this geek world. a real girl – geek or otherwise – is not the same thing as your fantasy geek girl. are eight reasons to always give the geeky girl a chance. the purpose of the geek girl is ultimately, to validate the man’s existence and interests. you're such a wonderful person that your association with geekdom will improve its reputation, and so you'll do it for those poor, geeky underdogs?
Fujoshi kanojo. (2009) - IMDbthen again, it just makes getting to know one another more interesting, you each can have your separate interests while appreciating them for their general geekery. it’s notoriously difficult to pull a geek outside of his comfort zone; the world hates and fears him, therefore why should he have anything to do with the world outside of the tiny slice that values him.'ve noticed a lot of female models claiming to be gaming geeks (e. it sounds corny, but it's happened to me, and many other geeks i know. so the real defining feature of geeks and nerds is that tendency to focus on an interest to the exclusion of all else that either causes or comes with some social awkwardness. geek girl is, in the end, all about the guy. i am saying that you need to go into your relationship with your eyes open to reality, and to embrace that flawed, imperfect, all-too-human geeky girl for exactly who and what she is and not a fantasy that she could never achieve. to the right person, geek or not, our flaws and imperfections will only add to our beauty and ultimately make us unique. with that said i like to date guys i have stuff in common with… i am a geek girl not to the extreme of what was put on the sterotyping list put above but i do like comic books, anime and rpgs… whats wrong with dating someone you know you have things in common with and that you can be friends with? over time i think it started to show i wasn't going to be made into his fantasy idealization of me so he cheated on me with a 16 year old girl who seemed geekier than me *rollseyes*. i, for example, couldn't imagine dating someone who didn't like renaissance faires. i had a run-in with a close-minded geek last year. girls, like geek guys, take a while to open up but, when they do, they are total hellcats. the message isn't necessarily don't date geek girls, but more of reflective on the personality of nerds, especially with friend-zoning and white knighting issues.'re right, this is universally applicable but it is also very appropriate for geeks. maybe you're missing the fact a true geek girl will not be 'perfect', but she sure as hell won't settle for a man who can't accept that his girl can out burp him. reason why i don't zoom out the scope, as you put it is because this blog is aimed predominantly at nerds and geeks and the fetishization of the geek girl (or it's subset the gamer girl) is a common issue amongst my geeky brethren, for the reasons i've laid out., a better title for your article would be… “wanna date a geek girl? say that "all geeks do not posses certain qualities", but at the same time consider yourself part of a predefined label of "geek" just because you because you play wow, watch anime and have pink hair? then of course you separate this idea from the "girl who is a geek" who presumably is just fine as dating material, despite sharing all the critical qualities. geeks tend to focus on their interests with such laser-like intensity that they don’t often devote much time or study to anything outside their immediate sphere., the geek girl is the supporting actress in the movie that is the geek guy’s life. i am saying that you need to go into your relationship with your eyes open to reality, and to embrace that flawed, imperfect, all-too-human geeky girl for exactly who and what she is and not a fantasy that she could never achieve. "you should stop being so proud about been a damn geek and worry about more important things! their early experiences with being taunted, humiliated and judged by others leads them to prefer the company of their fellow geeks almost exclusively; they have their niche and they’re quite happy there, thank you very much. they still would mind is probably dating one, if the dress style of the people on stage at apple’s wwdc or google i/o is anything to fall back on. personally, i'm so sick of writers masking the power differential in the male/female dating arena as "men must change to accommodate women.'ll happily take her over this "geek girl" type as she's humble, respectful to me, and hey, she looks classier and sophisticated than the obnoxious colored heads of the geek girls. was more about saying that geeks and nerds tend to have some damage due to how they've been treated throughout life. i was a poser "geek girl" (sorry guys) with a mild interest in comics, video games and anime, but it was not enough to earn me true "geek status" (whatever that means, i don't want to overgeneralize anything here). after a month of ending my last dating spree (nothing bad, we were both leaving to different cities and she wast totally okay with an amicable "see you later" with no hooks for a long-distance relationship), my mind has drifted back to this ideal and it certainly has not done me any favors. of the greatest assets a geeky chick will have is her imagination.
suppose you could say i myself am a little on the 'geeky side' (i love video games, sci-fi/fantasy, renaissance, etc), and not to be big-headed but i'm not exactly unattractive either. as a male i'd rather have geek / nerd girls explain all the it / physics / construction stuff on youtube, than have a male speaker explaining mysql with half-broken english. cool thing about being a geek/nerd is that nothing really stops you from participating in our interests except your own preconcieved notions about it. i still don't see why being a female geek is something to be idolized – deep down we're just as awkward and nerdy as our male counterparts. regardless of what geeks are obsessed with, you can’t deny that their level of loyalty exceeds beyond the extraordinary. or we present ourselves as men so we wont be fetishized or constantly quizzed about our geek cred. it weird that somehow this article makes geek girls more appealing to me? are certainly plenty of geeky guys who aren't that interested in dating actual geeky women (as opposed to the fictional manic pixie dream girl described in the article), or who are only interested in dating geeky women if they are also highly conventionally attractive.’s worth noting that the geek girl is different from a girl who is a geek. best part is, that the geek girl will make your life better. in fact, i am geeky in different ways from my geek husband. that doesn't get male geeks kicked out of the geek club. grief, rachel isn't responding to your article, but to jenovapooh who did say that geek girls are damaged. also have to add that, having read four of your articles (i'll read more) and all of the comments, in the last couple of days, i'm blown away by the number of people who get on your case for either singling out geeks, or only addressing men. i can't (as a woman) see any reason why, on a dating blog for geek guys, you would give women tips on how to act, *or* address the issues from a non-geek perspective. only ones i can think of are to support your children's hobbies or because a loved one works in some geeky industry. who's seen the movie “she's all that” or has watched the first season of “freaks and geeks” (and wondered why it got canceled) could tell you the benefits of dating a “nerdy” girl. but it needs to be said:Don’t date geek girls. it could be because geeks are making significant impact in a world that is becoming increasingly reliant on information technology. who are geeks often have the same insecurity issues the guys have, so when they're rejected, they take it exceptionally hard. because if they did read the article they would see clearly defined what the doctor means by geek girl:"the geek girl is the culmination of geek fantasies. a girl who is a geek is a woman with all the flaws and imperfections that come with being human. just read through the comments and i must say i'm confused by the people saying "the geek girl does exist"!'s the "pussy on a pedestal" lesson, you've just painted it in geek. this is mostly because they are well-read and your geek girl trusts you and she thinks relationships should be fun but you, my friend, are not her first relationship. zuckerberg, steve jobs, bill gates etc are the top geeks of our time. women are already arousing and intimidating objects of desire in geek culture; trying to socialize with them is venturing in to true terra incognita and there be dragons. when reality comes crashing in, as it always does, the illusion is shattered and that perfect geek girl is revealed to be disappointingly human. i just don't think i have the level of passion for things to be a "real" geek. article brings up some valid points but i do think that it neglects the possibility that there is a continuum of geekdom and that people with geeky interests might have other interests as well.'s probably not good for my emotional maturity that i'm dating a girl almost exactly like the hypothetical wonder-nerd you described in this article.'s as if being a geek is something i do, rather than someone i am.
the world has changed; and so will the view we have towards geeks in general. sad news for geeks is that they’re underrated in the dating world, but the great news for you is that there are so many of them out there., this caught my eye: ' non-geeks are derisively referred to as “mundanes” ' i've never heard that term, or any variation of it, actually used in dialogue. 7 out of 10 geek girls are cute - and they are sick of hearing it. i guess i have a unrealistic "geek guy" complex i dont think i'd objectify them though and i'd just be excited to have uber nerdy debates about different fandoms! it has nothing to do with the content, partly because you don't seem to believe that there are any "geek girls" to date because they are some idealized fantasy. of my so's have been more or less of the geeky (dare i even say nerdy) variety. said, to keep a geek girl truly happy you should also note the following:1. if you're expecting them to become geeks with the goal of compassionately reaching out to geek dudes who aren't going on enough dates or having enough sex, then yeah, you're going to be disappointed., 'metalhead' and 'geek' are definitely not synonyms, though metal can inspire geekish levels of devotion. and he did it to the next girl he had a crush on, but she was apparently smarter than i was and did not make the same mistake of actually dating him. self identifying as a geek is different from being informed (directly or indirectly) that you are a geek. fantasy constructs are not limited to geeks, nor even to men. have you ever heard of women wanting to date a doctor so they can tell their female friends how they're dating a doctor? by being the beautiful pinnacle of womanhood and a geek, she affirms that – despite society’s prejudicies – that he is, in fact, cool for being a geek. i think geek and geek love is rather sweet myself. because of their own self-imposed isolation, geeks can find that their social skills have dwindled to the point that they have difficulty holding a normal conversation with anyone, never mind women. their early experiences with being taunted, humiliated and judged by others leads them to prefer the company of their fellow geeks almost exclusively; they have their niche and they’re quite happy there, thank you very much. what i do disagree with however is the stating that people should not want to "date outside their comfort zone" isn't it normal to want to date people whom have common interests who would judge you positively rather than negatively for expressing you have "geeky interests" would not any relationship fall apart if say a conservative christian tried to date a militant atheist."the fetishization of the geek girl is, at it’s core, a sexist ideal cloaked in the soft tyranny of “worship” and fantasy. the geek girl is a female-shaped collection of ideas, stereotypes and idealized fantasies about what you want in a woman… only without all of the downsides of being a real person. even though my husband dated and married a girl geek (me), i wasn't a geek girl. the way geeks adore their superhero action figures, and how much time they can spent building their collection, reading about their programming language or rewatching their favorite fantasy movies?"a geek girl isn’t just a girl, she’s a goddess. think he may have had an issue with women in general, not just with geeks. well…where i am going with this is i have my geek boyfriend and father of my 8 year old geek son. again, that can be applied to many geeks regardless of gender." instead of "geek girls are people too, stop expecting otherwise! out the word "geek", and that whole paragraph describes (unfortunately) the majority of romantic relationships. – i get really sick of how some geeky type guys fetishise the girls in their programming class, just because you're female and for bonus points if you hold his eye contact, like you might be you know actually /attracted/ to the guy, 9 times out of 10 he'll shit his pants, go all quiet and most likely avoid you for the rest of the semester. we are living proof that geek girls and the man geek can be a couple and make it out there. just because we are dorks/geeks doesn't mean we don't appreciate a fine hunk of man meat.